When you are a good man and you divorce a toxic female narcissist, you will find yourself alone and without support.

It will feel like the whole world is against you.

And that’s because it is.

Now, I don’t mean to alienate women in any way with this statement… if you are a good woman then the same goes for you too.

And I have run into many male narcissists in my time.

They were on the sports field in high school, in the bars and on the streets every Friday night and in the office at work, every Monday morning.

Hell, some were even my boss.

Narcissists are everywhere and they come in both male and female form.

But the playbook is very different when you’re a man and you try to disentangle from the kind that wears the female skin suit.

You are presumed guilty from simply being a man and so you have an uphill battle.

You see, feminism (originally designed to protect good women against male narcissists) has now been hijacked by female narcissists, just like the one you were with.

And they have engineered things so that the moment you fight back, you will take the fall.

You are hounded by police on the female narcissist’s false allegations and they take your children without so much as a shred of evidence.

You are labelled “emotionally unstable”.

You are labelled as having “anger issues”.

You are ordered by a judge to pay for and see a “counsellor”, who is most likely another narcissist.

You are labelled the narcissist!

Sound familiar?

But if you know anything about narcissistic abuse, you will know that that is all narcissistic projection.

Narcissistic projection is the narcissist’s art of deliberately accusing you for all the sins they alone are guilty of.

It’s what they did to you all through your relationsh!t.

They gaslighted you knowing full well what they were doing.

It’s why you lived in chaos and confusion with them for so long.

And the deliberate way they tried to destroy your sense of identity and self-worth, in full awareness of what they were doing (like a witch casting spells over a cauldron) is what makes them truly evil.

It is why you could never win an argument and why you never heard the words “I’m sorry” come out of their mouth ever (even though you said it yourself many times and for things that you didn’t do)!

And it is what they do best, twisting the truth to call evil “good” and good “evil”.

They are not insane - they know exactly what they are doing.

When you get free from your relationship with a toxic narcissist, you will find yourself fighting on two main battle fronts:

1 - The Emotional Torment

• Of being betrayed by someone you genuinely loved…

• Who was sabotaging you the whole way…

• Who tried to destroy you (by taking your children, making false accusations against you to police) when you finally woke up and realized what they were doing…

• And who seems to have got away with it!

2 - The Financial Stress

• Of trying to defend yourself in a narcissistic legal system…

• All the while trying to keep your job or your business going…

• To clear your name and get your children back…

• So that you can have a future for yourself and for them.

You will be stressed.

You will be afraid.

You will be angry.

Every cell in your body will be screaming for justice at having your faithfulness, your hard work, your love repaid with evil.

You will want revenge (and rightly so)!

But you need to understand: the narcissist is counting on this and they have everything set up and ready for when you react.

Reacting to the narcissist’s provocations only fuels the cycle of narcissistic abuse to continue… they need you to react.

And if you don’t learn how to break this cycle, you will stay stuck in their toxic game for the rest of yours and your children’s lives (even beyond divorce).

You may even fall into their trap of provoking you into doing something that makes it look like you are the toxic narcissist.

Right now, they are salivating at the prospect of being able to finally bring you down and destroy the reputation that you’ve built and maintained, through untold feats of toil and sacrifice, not to mention your innate honesty and integrity that you’ve practiced from childhood, all this time.

Understand… you are the reason the relationship lasted as long as it did.

You provided stability and direction.

You kept it all together.

You were the narcissist’s no.1 prize.

But they hated you because they knew that your light was legit and that they didn’t have any light of their own (only darkness).

And when you could not be abused, tricked nor manipulated into surrendering your light to them, so that they could glorify themselves in it as though it was originally theirs…

… they switched from subtly gaslighting you to blatantly trying to tear you down.

You resisted them and prevailed, you delivered “ego death” and so now it’s not enough for them to simply hurt you back, they want to engineer your downfall so that they can gloat over you… they want to desecrate you.

Falling prey to giving them the satisfaction of bringing you down like this should be your greatest fear!

But fear not.

If you follow the wisdom that I did…

If you get what I’m going to share with you…

If you let me guide you on the journey that I have already been on that you are now just starting…

You will allow karma to do to them what it was wanting to do all along but couldn’t because you were in the way.

You will transform the toxicity of all the unregulated emotions you’re feeling right now, all at once, into a steady stream of power.

You will inflict a lifelong injury on them that never heals.

And…

You will break free and get the life you were chasing all along but were sabotaged from establishing at every turn.

This is what you are searching for.

This is the secret to your success.

The Cost Of Shrinking Back In Fear

Precious metals are refined in the furnace and diamonds are formed in the dark, under intense pressure and heat.

I know that you have been subjected to a lot of darkness, pressure and heat, and right now you probably want to be done with it once and for all.

But this is the ultimate test, this is the deciding battle that you’ve been in preparation for all this time.

The question is: will you quit just before the end and disqualify yourself and everything you have endured… or will you pass through the fire and go next level?

Let’s say you’ve lost majority custody of your children and you think to yourself, “it’s hopeless why bother?”.

Well, consider this…

Before, it was impossible to have any significant influence on them because you were being undermined in the home, and they were being subtly gaslighted and triangulated against you by the narcissist.

Had you stayed in that and persisted with the fool’s errand of trying to understand, compromise, harmonize and even fix the narcissist… you would have failed and they would have grown up in your failure, and in an environment of normalized abuse.

You would have become the narcissist’s enabler (a.k.a “doormat”) and a symbol of weakness and defeat to your children.

But now that you are alone, free and separated from that, you can be your true self again and the benefit to your children is going to extend far beyond your life, or even theirs.

They are more free, now that you are free… and in time that will only increase.

The impact you now stand to have on them and potentially generations to come, is truly incalculable.

But so is the cost and damage to yourself, them and potentially many others, should you shrink back in fear and fail to pass through this fiery trial.

Now, they have a new path opening up before them. Now, they have an alternative world to the one the narcissist is forcing them to live in.

The narcissist wants to control and dictate their every word, thought and deed because narcissists are soulless empty meat suits who are ruled by darkness and fear.

But you want them to become free and fully actualized individuals, full of light, who know themselves and can make up their own minds.

It’s what you’ve always wanted and were trying so desperately to achieve for them.

Well, now you can!

But…

If you acquiesce.

If you quit the race.

If you succumb to fear…

Then everything you hoped for, struggled for, endured all that abuse for, and that was just about to come to you had you stayed the course and hung on a little longer, will be lost forever.

So, do not be that person.

Do not shrink back in fear.

Be obedient to the “still small voice”.

It will guide you through the fire, protect you in the fire and empower you over the fire… that I can promise you.

You will become the fire.

This is not a story to teach you how to fix the narcissist (you can’t).

This story will teach you how to become what they fear most of all…

Happy

Successful

Forever out of their reach

So, if you are ready to know how to go through the fire and come out the other side purified and indestructible - gleaming like gold…

“I’m going to share with you my story, infused with my deepest thinking and spiritual insights, learned from 12 intense years of personal & professional turmoil, while being trapped in a long-term relationship with a toxic covert narcissist.

You will learn how I got lost in a hall of mirrors in my mid-20’s and how it took me until I was 40, to find my way out of it.

You will get my unique perspective from being a ghost-writer for a prominent business guru, as well as an industrial designer, and from having been a private defense consultant and also a university lecturer, among other things.

You will learn how these achievements, contrary to what most people would think (myself included at the time), made the relationship with the toxic covert narcissist worse not better… and how that could be a warning for you.

And you will learn how the most painful, mind-bending and terrifying moment of my life, led me to the greatest blessing I have ever received and how the trial you’re going through may just lead you to your greatest blessing too (as long as you respond the right way)”.

Nick Hardman

Industrial Designer
Defense Consultant
Writer
Teacher